Remus stands leaning at the doorpost watching Regulus sitting with his legs crossed on his bed. It’s his birthday. Sirius really wanted to celebrate him with some grand gesture of brotherly love, now that they were finally living together, but was simultaneously scared of going overboard in their still fragile reconciliation. Remus convinced him that Regulus would be okay with being woken up with singing and presents. And by the slight blush on his cheeks and the way he beams at the pile of presents he might even like it.
The first gift is from Sirius. Regulus tidily unwraps it and Remus catches an amused glint in his eye before he sees it’s a book about stars and has to stop himself from snorting. When Regulus looks at him, he’s doomed. He can’t help the laugh bubbling out of him.
“What?” Sirius says irritated “You love stargazing?!”
“You love it when I go stargazing.” Regulus looks straight at his brother.
“I… Well… I won’t deny it’s nice to get to be for ourselves from time to time.” Sirius grabs Remus' hand. “What’s that got to do with anything?”
“Don’t you worry about that.” Regulus smiles and pulls out another present.
Remus knows Sirius hates secrets. And at this point, Remus almost, almost tells him. But something is holding him back.
-
3 months earlier
Remus knew there were healthier ways to deal with his problem. Going to sleep for one thing, as it was past midnight. But sometimes he just wanted to read about the miserable lives of others to feel better about himself for a moment.
Stargazer:
AITA for being forced to take on my (M16) bigger brother's (M19) role since he left home?
My parents are members of an extremist force believing in white supremacy and such. My brother openly opposed them and left home when he was 16. I used to be able to go under the radar a lot, but with my older brother out of the picture, my parents are much more focused on me. I was more or less forced to make a statement to join the movement and get a tattoo to show it. Now my brother won’t talk to me. He knows I don’t agree with my parents. He knows what kind of consequences I would have faced if I had opposed them. But he said I should have left too if I really meant it. I said it was he who placed me in this position when he left. Thoughts? Am I the asshole?
Remus scrolled on at first. But something made him come back to the post and read it again. And again. Poor kid. Reminded him of Sirius' brother. He might as well write an answer. No one knew who you were on the internet anyway, so he could as well write what he thought, right?
Nighthowler:
No A-holes here. Except for your parents, that is. Setting you and your brother up against one another and making you blame each other is just the kind of manipulative strategies abusive parents use, I’m afraid. I have a friend whose parents do the same.
Stargazer:
But he knows what I’m going through. He has been in my situation. He knows exactly what it’s like. And he still won’t take any blame for leaving and letting me deal with it alone? He tries to put it like it’s my fault for staying? Like I could just choose to walk out the door on my entire life?
Nighthowler: May I DM you?
Stargazer: Sure.
Hi
[Tuesday 01:38]
Sounds to me you were both dealing with some sh*t and your brother had to get away to save himself. You shouldn’t have to live like this. Neither should your brother. This is all on your parents in my opinion. Do you have any relatives or friends you could reach out to, other than your parents?
[01:39]
I really don’t, they are all in on it. My brother just says I should come live with him, like it’s an easy decision. I swear he hasn’t even thought it through. He never does. I mean, if I run away from home my parents would be so mad. It’s not like I could go back. And apart from them being my parents they also pay for my food. They pay for my education. I couldn’t do that myself.
[01:43]
Ngl, that might cause a real issue. Have you asked your brother about it? Can he support you (as far as immediate expenses like food is concerned) until you get on your feet? My guess (being one myself) would be that a 19-year-old won’t be able to pay much in relation to college fees and such, but there is always state school.
[01:50]
Isn’t it too late to apply for a state school, though?
[01:51]
No. It might cause a bit of paperwork, but I knew people who moved in the middle of the semester without much notice. You should be ok.
[01:51]
Depending on where you are going to be staying, I could help you look for a good school?
[01:51]
Thank you, but that’s ok. I don’t even know what I’m going to do or where I would end up. In case I even decide to leave.
[01:55]
I understand. There are other ways to pay for university. I, for example, work weekends and occasional nights at a warehouse. There is the possibility of loans. Seeing you are the clever type that thinks things through before you act, I’m sure you will find a way.
[01:56]
Maybe. I told you I’m not even sure I’m leaving, though.
[01:56]
What do you need to make a decision? Can I help you look up any answers?
[01:56]
I really don’t know. There’s just so many expectations. Whatever I do someone is getting mad at me.
[01:58]
Sometimes you don’t see the picture clearly until you get some distance to it. I’m not saying you need to run to your brother if you’re not comfortable with that. Is it possible for you to get a break from your parents in any other way? Visit a friend? Write up for a summer class? (Not saying you need to go there – just finding an excuse to get away from your parents a little) Maybe things will clear up?
[02:03]
Not likely. But thank you for the advice.
[02:03]
Can you make one up? Or do they not let you visit friends? Maybe get a summer job?
[02:04]
I sort of have a summer job already. I’m expected to help out in my father’s office to get to know the business.
[02:05]
I’m also expected to study to get top grades in everything. Exams are coming up this week.
[02:05]
Oh? Shouldn’t you be sleeping, then? If you have exams tomorrow?
[02:06]
Probably. How do you know it’s late where I am?
[02:06]
Good point. Is it?
[02:04]
Yes. It’s 2 am.
[02:06]
Huh. We live in the same time zone then. Just realised I don’t even know you live in England. My advice might be rubbish.
[02:06]
I do. And it was not rubbish. Thank you.
[02:06]
Well, I really should be sleeping by now as well.
[02:08]
Good night, then.
[02:08]
Good night! I’ll write again tomorrow.
[02:08]
.
So… Did your parents really force you to get a tattoo? Is that even legal?
[Tuesday 21:52]
I don’t know? Isn’t it? It’s not like they would care either way...
[22:01]
It’s a really screwed-up thing to do. You realise that, right?
[22:02]
Normal parents talk their kids out of getting tattoos.
[22:03]
😅 They do, don’t they?
[22:03]
Have you thought any more about talking to your brother?
[22:03]
I don’t know.
[22:03]
He has a flatmate. I don’t even know if it’s ok for him that I suddenly move in. Knowing my brother, that thought most likely hasn’t even crossed his mind.
[22:04]
There is really only one way to find out. Talk to your brother and ask him!
[22:04]
I have a flatmate, though. And if I was to realize his brother was in the situation you are I would gladly let him stay. I think all decent people would.
[22:05]
It would get crowded. They have only two bedrooms.
[22:06]
Maybe you can sleep on a mattress in your brother’s room? Ask him!
[22:06]
I don’t know if I can do that. Live so close to someone I don’t know.
[22:06]
It’s not uncommon at all for flatmates to live really separate lives. You can have your own shelf in the fridge, cook for yourself, and so on.
[22:07]
What if they expect me to help out?
[22:07]
I think you have to count on that, yeah. Especially if you are going to live off of your brother, it might be fair that you cook for him sometimes or whatever.
[22:08]
I don’t know how to cook.
[22:08]
Everybody has to learn at some point. And he knows you, right? He won’t expect you to know everything from the start. He can teach you. There are youtube videos. Or you can call me and I’ll walk you through it.
[22:08]
That’s kind of you.
[22:08]
I still don’t know.
[22:09]
I need to go now. Exam tomorrow.
[22:11]
Good night and good luck!
[22:11]
Just think about it, okay?
[22:13]
Ok.
[22:13]
.
Getting online at this time? Where have you been?
[Thursday 00:47]
Stargazing.
[00:47]
Really? Fitting name then.
[00:47]
And yours? Do you howl at night? 😉
[00:47]
Only occasionally 😉
[00:47]
What’s keeping you up?
[00:48]
Just thinking about stuff.
[00:48]
Come on. I’ve told you all about my problems.
[00:48]
It’s nothing compared to yours, I promise.
[00:48]
… I’m still waiting.
[00:50]
It’s silly.
[00:50]
Ok, here goes. I have a crush on my flatmate. Can’t stop thinking about him.
[00:52]
Romantic! 😍
[00:52]
No! We’ve been friends for ages. I don’t want to screw it up. He’s the most incredible person in every way and I’m just so lucky to have him as a friend, you know. I don’t want to push it…
[00:52]
And this was supposed to be something silly? Like no big deal?
[00:52]
😭I’m dying!
[00:53]
You’re so cute.
[00:53]
I’m really not. If you knew me, you’d know I was ugly and weird.
[00:53]
I know you take time to help strangers on the internet. I know you prefer nighttime and I bet it’s for the same reason I do: you don’t have to answer to anyone, you’re not supposed to be anywhere. Seeing you describe your friend, I know you care a lot about the people in your life.
[00:55]
Stop. You’re making me cry.
[00:55]
Now I know you’re a total wuss 😉
[00:55]
Is he hot?
[00:57]
Oh, don’t get me started…
[00:57]
😎
[00:57]
He has the most stunning eyes. Grey, but like marble. Or silver? Sharp cheekbones and flawless skin that make him look like a prince or something. But then he has this entirely opposite nonchalant vibe going. Leather jacket. Chunky boots. Tattoos on his arms. And don’t get me started on those perfectly lean muscular arms... He has a ring in one ear as well. Cool sunglasses. Wears his hair in messy buns. His hair btw, gorgeous! Perfect whatever he does. If it’s done it’s in perfect black, silky, smooth waves. If it’s messy it’s a perfect messy, if you know what I mean.
[00:58]
Ok. He’s hot and he knows it. Got it.>
[00:58]
I hate those.
[00:58]
Makes it so much harder to bag them.
[00:58]
Yeah? It doesn’t matter, because I’m not even trying. This is just weird me going through a weird phase. I just need to find a way to let this pass without him noticing.
[00:59]
If you are friends, you must have something going for you? A personality he likes?
[00:59]
I guess … as a friend.
[00:59]
Have you tried flirting with him?
[01:00]
No! First of all, I don’t possess any flirting skills whatsoever. Second of all, I can’t risk our friendship.
[01:00]
He cut his hair with me in second grade, when I had to cut it short because of lice. He carried me through being bullied in middle school. Whenever I happen to look wistfully at something he tries to buy it for me, I swear he would buy me anything if I let him. He truly is the best person there is.
[01:01]
You are so gone.
[01:01]
Am I not.
[01:01]
You are 😊
[01:01]
Ugh. Whatever. Good night.
[01:01]
Good night!
[01:01]
.
Have you tried dating someone else to make him jealous?
[Thursday 21:59]
No. I couldn’t. Poor dude to just be part of a game…
[22:12]
You are too kind for your own good.
[22:12]
He dates plenty, though…
[22:12]
He does? What do you do about that?
[22:12]
Cry?
[22:12]
You haven’t tried to sabotage or anything?!
[22:12]
Well, there was this girl with stupid big lips, fake laugh, and bleached hair. I tied her shoelaces together.
[22:13]
🤣 That’s the evilest thing you could think of?! Tying someone’s shoelaces? Bless your heart!
[22:13]
There was this dude who dared complain that my choice of furniture looked cheap. I filled his coat pockets with toothpaste.
[22:13]
Usually, I just lock myself in my room, tough. Or leave. Our bedrooms are right next to each other. I don’t want to hear them.
[22:14]
I feel that. Sorry mate.
[22:14]
I use to tell him I’m going to the pub. But then I really just walk around. In the forest. I mean, I can’t be at the pub crying, can I?
[22:14]
In the forest? At night? Are you crazy?
[22:14]
You know humans are the most dangerous animal in the world, right? We destroy the planet. I figure if anything were to hurt me it would just even out the odds a little bit. I kind of find peace at that thought.
[22:15]
Damn. Because going out in the woods and hoping to get eaten by a bear when he’s with someone else doesn’t scream “obsessed” at all.
[22:15]
Shut up. It’s not like I’m actively hoping. Besides, nothing has ever happened. It can’t be that dangerous.
[22:15]
Where are you going stargazing if not the forest?
[22:16]
The roof.
[22:16]
You are missing out. There’s too much light in the city.
[22:16]
Who said my house was in the city?
[22:18]
Just assumed, I guess. Is it?
[22:18]
Yes. And I know what you mean. We used to go to one is my father’s factories that’s pretty far out when I was little. The sky there is a whole other thing.
[22:18]
Cool.
[22:18]
Yes, one of my offices will be there. It’s actually one thing I look forward to this summer. If I can make up an excuse to stay overnight.
[22:19]
One of your many offices. Of course. Sometimes I forget how silly rich you are.
[22:19]
Where would you go stargazing if you could choose freely?
[22:19]
Maybe it helps to picture your alternative futures? Not just the big things, but like, how would your day-to-day life be?
[22:20]
I don’t know.
[22:21]
I guess get up and get to work and come home and hide from the world until it’s bedtime. Maybe I would have more time to write.
[22:25]
What are you writing?
[22:26]
Don’t judge me. Poetry.
[22:26]
That’s awesome! So, you’ll write poetry in your spare time. You can sit and write in peace in a home set up the way you like it, or if you ever want to go out and sit and write in a cafe or a park you can do that too.
[22:26]
❤️
[22:26]
What would you want to work with?
[22:27]
I don’t know. I always pictured myself taking over the company after my father.
[22:27]
But apart from that, what would you like to do?
[22:27]
I have no idea. How am I supposed to know what I like?
[22:30]
Do you hear how f*cking brainwashed you sound?
[22:30]
Do they have a careers officer at your school? Maybe you should book an appointment?
[22:31]
Maybe. I’ll look into it tomorrow. Time to sleep?
[22:31]
Yeah. Good night.
[22:31]
Sorry I called you brainwashed. I didn’t mean to upset you.
[22:35]
It’s ok.
[22:35]
.
Did you know that when he showers, he walks out of the bathroom in just a towel, and instead of getting dressed like a normal person he just walks around, eating breakfast, doing his business in a goddamn towel for the entire morning. Do you understand what I have to live with?
[Friday 21:18]
🤣 Crush or not - that’s just indecent behaviour.
[22:02]
I know, right?! And it’s not just today. It’s at least a weekly occurrence.
[22:03]
My brother used to do the same. Infuriating. I think it was mostly to annoy our parents, though.
[22:03]
Maybe it’s his way to try and seduce you? What if you show some skin?
[22:04]
I’m not really the skin showing type.
[22:04]
Try it!
[22:04]
Sure. Maybe. We’ll see.
[22:05]
Now I need to go.
[22:07]
Time to sleep? Good night!
[22:07]
No. Time to study. Final exams next week. Good night.
[22:07]
Jesus. Good luck!
[22:07]
.
That did not end well. I walked around in just jeans for a while this morning before I put on a shirt. He must have thought I was so stupid I forgot how to dress or something. Caught him staring at multiple occasions. Even poured his milk beside his bowl of cereal.
[Saturday 17:38]
🤣 He wants you!
[17:41]
Nah. He just thinks I look stupid. Which I do, btw.
[17:41]
I forgot to ask: Did you find out if you have a careers officer?
[17:41]
Yes, I even made an appointment yesterday.
[17:42]
How did it go?
[17:42]
Disappointing. He couldn’t answer anything, just read from a script.
[17:42]
At least I know one thing I don’t want to be…
[17:42]
I was in another meeting today. With my parents. They wanted me to prove myself in front of everyone. Show my dedication to the cause and such. I thought it was just about using big words. Bragging about how much I despised certain people and what I would do to them if it was up to me to decide.
[17:45]
I’m good at that, you know. I’m good at performing to fit in. I thought that would be it. I just did it to fit in.
[17:45]
But then they started actually planning.
[17:46]
Like actually making plans from the things I said.
[17:46]
That’s awful. I’m so sorry.
[17:46]
Yes. It is awful.
[17:48]
And still, I just sat there and let it happen. My brother would have flipped the table and stormed out or something.
[17:50]
I don’t deserve his help.
[17:50]
Just talk to him?
[17:50]
You don’t have to promise anything. You don’t even have to tell him about this. Just talk to him.
[17:50]
There’s no point. He will just be mad at me.
[17:51]
Look, I realize it’s scary to not know what awaits you. And I definitely see the point with having things planned out ahead. But you will never be able to plan for everything. And you don’t need to have it all planned out to just talk to your brother.
[17:52]
Sometimes you just need to be brave.
[17:58]
🙄
[17:58]
Life is too short to not live to the fullest. Sometimes we need to take chances and stop second guessing ourselves.
[18:00]
Speaking of. You need to get a move on with your flat mate.
[18:00]
Don’t change the subject.
[18:00]
You can’t just wait for him to make the first move.
[18:01]
Does he even know you are gay?
[18:01]
Or bi, or pan, or whatever you are? Does he know you are available?
[18:01]
I think so? I use strawberry-scented shampoo. I listen to One Direction.
[18:02]
🤣 Seriously?! You know nothing about each other! What do you guys even talk about?
[18:02]
First step if this is ever going to work is to make sure he knows, ok?
[18:03]
You need to let him see you date a guy.
[18:03]
I’m telling you. There is nothing here that is going to work out. I just need to get over him.
[18:03]
Ok… Then you need to date a guy.
[18:04]
You are impossible.
[18:04]
No, you are impossible!
[18:04]
Invent someone if you have to. Just talk about the date you are going to, be clear – and I mean over the top clear – about it being a guy, and leave. Go to your forest or whatever.
[18:05]
Really?
[18:09]
Well, it’s your life your call. But yes, really.
[18:09]
Do you want help to come up with a name?
[18:10]
No. I’ll figure it out.
[18:10]
Ok. Talk to you tomorrow.
[18:11]
Early night?
[18:11]
No, I’m going out.
[18:12]
Oh? I didn’t expect that. Are you allowed to go out clubbing?
[18:12]
It’s no club. It’s at a friend’s house.
[18:13]
A house party? Even more unexpected tbh.
[18:13]
It’s not a party, it’s a soirée.
[18:14]
🤣 Have fun!
[18:14]
Believe me, I will be so heavily chaperoned by my older cousins that nothing fun can happen.
[18:14]
Jesus. Then try to have as much fun as possible I guess.
[18:14]
Sure. Good night.
[18:15]
Good night!
[18:15]
.
Help me!
[Sunday 19:13]
I faked a date. Told him I was going and he locked himself in his room before I left. Now he hasn’t looked at me for the whole day. I feel horrible. 😭
[19:14]
Because he’s jealous! This is a good thing!
[19:18]
It doesn’t feel good.
[19:18]
Oh, quit complaining! Now you just tell him the date didn’t work out. Preferably while saying something cheesy about how much you like him.
[19:19]
Yeah. Okay. I’m going to do that.
[19:20]
Hold on.
[19:21]
Yeah. It worked. We’re friends again 😊
[22:14]
Not more than friends?
[22:14]
He didn’t want to talk to me at first, but I could hear he was watching a movie in his room. He let me in eventually. He was on his bed eating B&J and looked so awkward when I said I wanted to talk about my date, but still let me sit next to him. I made up some story about my date being boring and that it would not be another one. I said “he’s not up to my standards anyway, your hair is way more beautiful” Why did I say that? Have you ever heard anything so stupid?
[22:16]
He smiled, though. I told you he’s the kindest person there is. But he probably thinks I’m a complete looser. That’s probably why he shared his ice cream with me and let me watch the rest of the movie with him.
[22:17]
I love sitting in his bed and watching a movie.
[22:18]
It was My Neighbour Totoro. Good thing I’d already seen it so many times. All I could think about was how much I wanted to kiss him. Or put my arm around him. Or anything.
[22:19]
Why didn’t you?! It would have been perfect.
[22:19]
I told you. I don’t want to push it. We just made up.
[22:20]
God, you’re hopeless.
[22:20]
You both are. A perfect fit, you two.
[22:20]
I can’t take this anymore.
[22:21]
How was your soirée?
[22:22]
Predictable. As I said.
[22:22]
Talk to you again tomorrow.
[22:22]
Okay. Good night!
[22:21]
.
I’ve come to the conclusion the only way for you is to straight up tell him.
[Monday 21:49]
Excuse me? What part of I’m not prepared to risk our friendship did you miss?
[21:50]
Life is too short to not live to the fullest? Stop second guessing and all that?
[21:50]
Come on. ☹️ Don’t use it against me.
[21:50]
Did you not mean it?
[21:51]
Of course I did! But it’s different.
[21:51]
Different how?
[21:51]
I don’t know if there’s a point. He might not like me that way. I don’t even know if he’s gay.
[21:55]
I thought you said he dated a guy? What more evidence do you need?
[21:55]
But what if he stopped dating that guy because he realised that he wasn’t into it?
[21:56]
Now you’re just being thick.
[21:56]
You are a coward.
[22:00]
Yeah. Maybe I am.
[22:00]
You’re not supposed to agree.
[22:00]
But what if I really am?
[22:00]
Would you talk to him if I talk to my brother at the same time?
[22:09]
Do you mean that?
[22:17]
Maybe it’s less scary if we do it together?
[22:19]
Yeah. Would you still be here to pick up the shreds if he rejects me?
[22:20]
Yes. Would you be here to pick me up if my brother says no?
[22:20]
If he says no you can come live with me.
[22:20]
❤️
[22:20]
Tomorrow?
[22:22]
Tomorrow. Good luck!
[22:22]
Promise?
[22:26]
God.🙄 I promise.
[22:26]
.
How did it go?
[Tuesday 20:44]
You won’t believe this.
[21:02]
I don’t believe it.
[21:02]
He kissed me!!!
[21:02]
👍
[21:05]
I started rambling about having something to tell him and having these feelings for a long time and didn’t get anywhere and he just sat there, patiently looking at me making a fool out of myself. Then finally he started laughing, shook his head and kissed me!
[21:06]
Apparently he has felt the same way for a long time as well.
[21:07]
Best kiss ever.
[21:07]
Best day ever.
[21:07]
Great! Told you so.
[21:08]
How did it go for you?
[21:10]
Oh.
[21:12]
I didn’t do it.
[21:12]
☹️ Why not?
[21:12]
Because I’m the coward, obviously.
[21:13]
No!!! You’re not! I’m so sorry! I know you can do it!
[21:13]
Sure. Now tell me everything! What happened after the kiss?
[21:14]
I can’t go on about that now ☹️
[21:15]
Please?
[21:15]
I don’t want to think about my life today.
[21:15]
You want distraction?
[21:15]
Yes.
[21:15]
(link)
[21:16]
It’s the funniest cat video I know. For when I want to be distracted.
[21:16]
(link)
[21:16]
🤣 wtf?
[21:19]
(link)
[21:19]
😮 Was the monkey there all the time?
[21:24]
(18 links)
[21:24]
Thank you. Good night!
[23:03]
.
Are you there?
[Wednesday 21:31]
Radioshadow. I get it. You’re buzzy with your new boyfriend.
[23:29]
.
Sorry
[Thursday 07:47]
I was buzzy.
[07:48]
.
Was it good?
[Thursday 21:02]
Shut up 😅
[21:08]
Was it, though?
[21:08]
What do you want to know? The co*ck was heavenly, thank you. I’m on clouds still.
[21:09]
TMI
[21:10]
You asked!
[21:10]
So, just wondering… were you ever going to talk to your brother?
[21:12]
No.
[21:15]
So, you tricked me from the beginning?
[21:16]
No offense, but you’re easy to read and manipulate.
[21:16]
You shouldn’t trust strangers on the internet.
[21:16]
We’re not strangers. ☹️
[21:16]
You like staying up late for the same reason I do.
[21:17]
You like stargazing.
[21:17]
You f*cking gave me the courage to confess to my crush! Best decision of my life!
[21:20]
Are you mad? That I tricked you?
[21:29]
No
[21:29]
I’m sad that you didn’t give yourself the chance to make up with your brother.
[21:30]
It’s different.
[21:32]
🙄 Different how?
[21:32]
You already wanted to ask him out. It was obvious. You just needed a little push.
[21:32]
I haven’t decided what I want yet.
[21:32]
What do you need to make a decision?
[21:33]
I know this makes me sound like a spoiled brat. But I’m not sure I can do living like a normal person very well. I don’t know how to vacuum and wash and grocery shop and all that sh*t.
[21:36]
My boyfriend was useless at that too. But if he could learn, so can anyone. Trust me.
[21:36]
You’ll have your brother to support you. And me.
[21:37]
It’s just… I got the impression that it’s just so boring and that you sort of have to spend your entire life doing chores and my parents gave me this unique freedom by not having me do that? Can I really afford to let that go? What if I regret it for the rest of my life?
[21:38]
Mate. You don’t know what freedom is.
[21:38]
No one forces you to do it. If you don’t grocery shop there is going to be no food at home, but it’s still your choice. Sure, it’s tedious. How much that’s worth for you is up to you to decide. But I would never trade my life for yours.
[21:38]
I swear the first time my boyfriend saw a washing machine he didn’t even know what it was for. 🤣
[21:39]
I want to say “what a prat”, but that could be me…
[21:42]
Seriously?
[21:42]
I mean I know a washing machine is for washing, obviously. But I’m not sure what it looks like. I’m not 100% confident I would recognize one if I saw it?
[21:42]
You don’t have one at home? Like, in the basem*nt or something?
[21:43]
No.
[21:43]
Mate? How do your clothes get washed?
[21:43]
I don’t know. The maid takes them and then returns them clean.
[21:43]
Jesus
[21:43]
Yeah. I spoke to my boyfriend. Apparently, the house he grew up in were also to posh to have a washing machine. I did not know that was a thing.
[21:59]
He also admitted up until he was 10 or so he believed he was just getting new clothes all the time 🤣
[21:59]
Haha.
[22:00]
Tell me you didn’t think that.
[22:00]
You did 🤣
[22:03]
Not until 10. But maybe 7? 8? How would I know?
[22:03]
Did you not recognize any holes or stains?
[22:03]
Do you think I would wear clothes with holes in them?
[22:03]
Okay. But minor loose treads or something?
[22:04]
Damaged clothes did not come back.
[22:04]
Jesus
[22:04]
I think I understand my boyfriend’s obsession with my worn-out hoodies in a different way now.
[22:05]
I don’t. What’s so fun with wearing less-than-perfect clothes?
[22:06]
You have so much to discover when you get out of that house 😊
[22:06]
Whatever you say. Talk to you tomorrow.
[22:07]
Nighty night!
[22:07]
.
Hi! How has your day been?
[Friday 22:07]
.
Are you there?
[Saturday 18:28]
.
Hello?
[Sunday 16:14]
.
How are you doing? It’s been a while…
[Wednesday 23:34]
.
Remus was absentmindedly playing with Sirius' hair.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Hm?”
“You’ve stopped reading.”
Remus realised Sirius was right, the book lay folded in his lap, with his thumb marking the page.
“Regulus”, he admitted, “do you think… should we maybe try to reach out again?”
Sirius sighed deeply. “He made it pretty clear he didn’t want me to.”
“Don’t you think it was just something he said?”
Sirius was quiet. Then slowly sat up.
“Love? I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“It’s okay,” Sirius whispered in a strained voice. “It’s not like I’m not thinking about it anyway. Talking is… At least it doesn’t make it worse, okay?”
Remus nodded, put his arms around Sirius, and pulled him closer.
Sirius fidgeted with the corner of his blanket in his lap. “He said it only gets worse when I’m around. And he might very well be right. If they are reminded of me, they might punish him for it. It’s not like that’s beyond them.”
.
Please? Just let me know you’re ok.
[Thursday 21:51]
What does it matter? I’m a monster.
[23:20]
Did they force you to do something?
[23:20]
I f*cking wish
[23:28]
No one forced me. I chose to obey.
[23:28]
Did you see on the news about those immigrant families that got their faces burnt?
[23:28]
Oh my f*cking Lord! Were you part of that?!
[23:28]
kill me
[23:30]
f*cking shoot me, burn me, hang me
[23:30]
Listen to me!!! You did not choose that!!!
[23:30]
How could you possibly know?
[23:30]
You calling yourself a monster?!
[23:30]
Well, it doesn’t matter. He will never talk to me now.
[23:31]
I’m sure he will. I’m sure he’ll understand.
[23:31]
Forget it! Go have your happy life and forget about me.
[23:31]
Goodbye
[23:32]
Don’t you dare say goodbye to me like this!!!
[23:32]
💔
[23:32]
You know, I have no siblings. But my boyfriend has a brother and the way he talks about him… He would forgive him for anything, I promise.
[23:33]
Everything you’ve told me about your brother makes me think he’s just the same.
[23:33]
I imagine he cares very much for you.
[23:35]
Leave it.
[23:39]
No.
[23:39]
God, you’re annoying.
[23:39]
I imagine he wants nothing more than to reach out to you, but he’s too scared to get rejected again. Or that it would somehow case your parents to harm you if he did.
[23:42]
I imagine he would be overjoyed if you took the first step.
[23:45]
Or forget about your brother. Come stay with me until we figure something out.
[23:50]
You have the power to change this.
[00:14]
Please just tell me what you are thinking.
[00:58]
Please?
[02:36]
You know I can see you’ve read these messages even though you don’t reply, right?
[02:40]
Okay then. Good night! Take care! I’ll write again tomorrow.
[03:02]
-
The next afternoon Sirius took a phone call and shut himself in the bedroom, which in itself was unusual. It had been quite long and Remus began to wonder if he should be worried when a wild scream made him jump up from the sofa and drop his bag of crisps.
Sirius flung the door open and came running, swung his arms around Remus, and swirled him in the air. Remus couldn’t help laughing.
“What? Love? What are you doing?”
“Regulus! H-he wants to - He wants - He wants to come here.” Sirius' eyes widened. “sh*t! Is that okay? Can he live here for a while?”
“Of course!”
They looked at each other. Both smiling like idiots and panting.
“Of course, love. That’s wonderful!”
Sirius nodded with tears in his eyes. “Let’s go get him.”
As soon as they were in the car Remus looked at his phone.
.
I did it. I spoke to my brother.
[Friday 16:17]
I’m so proud of you ❤️
[16:21]
.
Hello again! 😉 How are you doing at your brother's?
[Thursday 17:57]
Alright. Good. It’s getting better. Thank you for everything!
[18:01]
My pleasure. Actually, I need your help.
[18:01]
Oh, ok?
[18:01]
I’m currently sharing a small flat with my boyfriend and his brother. I have not had intimate relations with my boyfriend for a week because he is scared his brother will hear us. What do I do? I really don’t want to scare the brother off either. But I want to, you know, have a sex life?
[18:02]
🤣 Sounds unbearable. Why don’t you suggest another activity to the brother when you want him out?
[18:04]
I’ll try that. Thanks!
[18:04]
.
That evening when they were tidying up after dinner Remus cleared his throat and looked at Regulus.
“Fine evening for stargazing, don’t you think?”
Regulus snorted. Then courtly agreed. “I think it is, yeah. I think I’ll go for a walk and see if I can find a good spot.”
He packed a backpack and explicitly declared: “I’ll be out for at least an hour, maybe two. Don’t wait up.”
“Do you want company?” Sirius asked and Remus groaned inwardly.
Regulus gave him a weirded-out look. “No. I don’t need a babysitter.”
When the door closed behind him, Sirius stared anxiously at it. Remus walked up and put his arm around his waist.
“Do you think he’s ok?” Sirius asked. “Is he upset or something?”
“Anyone would need some alone time after spending an entire week with you.” Remus joked.
Sirius smiled and the worry seemed to drain off his face.
“Speaking of…” Remus tentatively pulled at Sirius' waist “we’ll have the flat alone for an hour, why not take advantage of that?”
That immediately sparked a fire in Sirius' eyes.
-
Remus almost tells Sirius all of this. But something makes him hold back. It’s not only his secret to share. And Sirius doesn’t need to know everything, after all. A couple of months later, it turns out to be a good call. Suddenly Regulus writes again.
Are you still there?
[Sunday 22:24]
Yeah. What now?
[22:25]
I’m in trouble.
[22:25]
My benevolent host pair has this annoyingly gorgeous friend.
[22:25]
We can call him James, just for the sake of the conversation…
[22:25]
