Every family is unique, and this is especially true for blended families.
In most cases, everyone involved just adjusts and makes it work.
In this story, OP and his new wife decided to raise their respective kids separately.
It was weird, but apparently, it worked for them for a while. Now it is causing some conflict.
OP told his brother that the conflict was unavoidable.
Read on to see if he was the AH.
My brother and his wife got married 6ish years ago.
They were two single parents who wanted to be married to each other but the kids were not as into the idea as the adults.
That sounds weird. I’m not even sure how that could work, but to each their own I guess.
So, they decided to live as a married couple with two separate families.
My brother’s kids were parented by my brother and my brother only. His wife’s kids were parented by his wife and his wife only.
Ok, I can already see that this is going to cause problems. Not sure how they thought this was a good idea.
His kids interacted with our family. Her kids interacted with hers. The kids interacted with their bio siblings only.
They were not a blended family or even a family unit. It was very much two family units centered around a married couple.
It was weird to members on both sides of their families but it just was what it was.
I always saw a time where they would regret it especially if they ever wanted to change how things worked and the kids were against it or no love developed for step relatives we have no ongoing relationship with.
But I also knew it wasn’t my place to interfere.
Well, the day has come and regret has already sunk in.
This type of problem was so predictable. And it puts the extended family in a really uncomfortable situation.
So, my brother’s oldest graduated high school a couple of weeks ago and my parents told them that they had saved for each grandkids future and they now had access to money to pay for college or to get them started if they went for an apprenticeship.
Of course my brother’s oldest was excited.
But my brother and his wife not so much because the money saved will be for each bio grandkid, not the wife’s kids, and they do not have the same help and support from their bio grandparents.
My brother and his wife told my parents they can’t give to some and not all.
They said the stepkids are not a part of our family and are not their grandkids and therefore they do not owe them any money.
The kids don’t care. It is just the parents who are upset.
My brother attempted to talk to his kids about the money and they said they didn’t care about his wife’s kids or if they struggle or not so they’re not worried about them.
My brother and his wife are now pissed with both their families for the “very clear and very hurtful divide in their family.”
I told my brother he has no business blaming us for the regret he and his wife feel when they made the decisions they did and now have the outcome that was always inevitable.
I told him the kids all seem happy so they should get over it.
He was pissed.
AITA?
This is an easy one. OP is not the AH.
I don’t know if the brother is an AH, or just not very smart since these types of problems were obviously going to occur.
I’m just glad to see that the kids don’t seem upset by the situation so hopefully no long-term harm is caused.
Let’s see what the commenters had to say.
Brother and his wife made this bed, now they have to lay in it.
Great point! Grandparents can give money wherever they want!
Yeah. They didn’t want the step-kids to be part of the other side of the family. This is what they get.
Money always changes things. No surprise here.
Yup, this type of issue was as predictable as the day is long.
Actions (or inactions) have consequences.
If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.
Categories: STORIES
Tags: · aita, blended family, money, new family, picture, reddit, relationships, step parents, top
